


this time, i'm really going off (fireworks)

by isengard



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band), NUBOYZ, No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Dry-Humping, Feelings, M/M, aggressively continues writing gunheon to avoid thinking about kwangji, do not look for me friends i am already gone rip, literally just send me to the nearest landfill, minor school uniform kink, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:50:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3124172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isengard/pseuds/isengard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're gonna win this, he thinks.  They're gonna win this whole damn thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this time, i'm really going off (fireworks)

**Author's Note:**

> so i meant this to be more of a quick celebratory oneshot that i was gonna post before the episode aired, but then i got busy, and then the episode aired, and then feelings occurred. i really don't know what this is. blame drake.

 

“You look good,” Jooheon blurts out, before they go on.

It's a stupid thing to say. His mind is racing, he's not sure that Gunhee even hears him until he turns to look at him, gives him a pointedly obvious once-over. Whatever. Jooheon was being serious.

“You clean up alright too, you know,” Gunhee says, a grin playing around the corners of his mouth. “The tie is a nice touch.”

Jooheon makes a face. “Reminds me of being back in school.”

Gunhee laughs. “Isn't that the point?”

“Shut up.” God, you try to give a guy a compliment. “I'm thirsty. Give me your water.”

Gunhee hands it over. “Don't piss yourself onstage.”

“Yeah, right,” Jooheon says between gulps. “I'll sweat it all out. Gotta get out of this fucking jacket.”

“I could,” Gunhee starts. He pauses. “Uh. Nevermind. Shit,” he laughs, shaking his head.

Jooheon gives him a sideways look. “Were you gonna offer to undress me.”

“Don't distract me right now,” Gunhee warns, and he's serious, but there's something else in his tone. Jooheon would be unwise to call attention to it, because he can't really afford to get distracted right now either. “We'll – later, okay. Let's kill it out there first.”

Some part of Jooheon's mind dimly registers that this performance is supposed to be a competition. “Later,” he agrees. They're being called up. “Let's blow it up.”

Gunhee bumps his knuckles, and it's showtime.

 * 

There's a moment, on the stage – a series of moments, Jooheon has no idea how many moments, but he'll call it one in particular, because that just sounds better – when he honestly forgets the entire competition. When the beat is loud in his ears, echoing to the soles of his feet, and he's balancing on it perfectly, when he forgets that the judges are there for any reason except to see _him_ , that the cameras are there for any reason except _him_ , when the mic in his hand feels powerful enough to carry his voice across the world.

There's a moment, when they reach for each other at the same time, when Jooheon has to shout his lyrics into his mic for the sheer exhilaration of it, when Gunhee's eyes are so _bright_ and his voice is so _clear_ and he's glowing in the stage lights, and Jooheon already knows that he's in love with performing, with hip-hop, but he thinks he might also be in love with the way Gunhee's finger curls around the head of his mic, the earnestness in his eyes when he tells his story, the familiar way his voice rides the beat, takes it around the block and brings it back in time for Jooheon's verse.

They're gonna win this, he thinks. They're gonna win this whole damn thing.

* 

“ _You_ look good,” Gunhee breathes against his neck, making him flash hot in front of the judges, the cameras. They're supposed to be leaving the stage, but Jooheon knows who will be leaving it first, and he doesn't want to let go.

“You were great,” he manages to say, holds Gunhee against him fiercely. “Just – fuck 'em, man. However they spin this, you know we nailed it.”

“Ah,” Gunhee laughs. His breath is hot against Jooheon's collar. “Don't mind it. Really.”

It's probably a mistake, pulling back to look at him, all flushed and beaming and soft, the damp pieces of his hair curling around his face. It knocks the wind out of Jooheon, a little, almost as much as it used to when they were really rookies and neither of them could stop looking at each other long enough to gauge the crowd. He thought he'd get over it eventually, but if the suffocating feeling in his chest is anything to go by, he probably just got better at hiding it.

Gunhee's eyes are sparkling when he leans in again. “You think we'd get kicked off the show if I kissed you right now?”

Jooheon steps back on reflex, even as his fingers cling stubbornly to the sleeve of Gunhee's jacket. Christ, he's got it bad. “Maybe,” he says. “Probably they'd just edit it out.”

The stage lights flash. Jooheon forces himself to let go of Gunhee, giving him a final pat on the arm. “See you back there.”

“Yeah,” Gunhee says. He looks like he's about to congratulate Jooheon, and Jooheon isn't totally sure he can handle that, so he turns around.

* 

He's winning the program, sure. He won the song. They all tell each other it's just TV, that it's all good exposure, even for the kids who don't make it. Jooheon's not stupid, he can see the dollar signs flashing in the producers' eyes when he and Gunhee step on stage together. He can see the ratings climb when the others start snipping at each other, stressed out by the schedule, by the program. He knows he should be grateful for the opportunity – and he is, he really is – but sometimes, he hates it.

It doesn't feel like winning, when Gunhee's platform goes down below the stage. It doesn't feel like winning when Hyungsoo sunbae gives him another bullshit lecture on getting comfortable at the top. Not when he never wanted to be by himself in the first place.

* 

Gunhee almost tackles him when he gets backstage, but stops short when he sees the look on his face.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jooheon says automatically. He's shit at this. “Don't worry about it, seriously.”

Gunhee looks exasperated. “How can you even...we just blew them away! That was incredible!” He punches Jooheon in the shoulder. “What the fuck, man?”

“Ahh,” Jooheon says, twisting away from him. “Come on.”

“You don't get to be all emo, you _won_ ,” Gunhee says. He laughs. “ _You_ come on. Be happy.”

Jooheon looks at his shoes. This is stupid, Gunhee's right. But – “I didn't win alone,” he mumbles. “It's just bullshit. You know. I don't know.”

Jooheon swears, there was a point in his life when he didn't sound like a cliché from a TV drama. Maybe being on this show is changing him, too.

Gunhee grasps him by the shoulders, not all too gently. “What's the matter with you?”

“I was so – it was so _good_ , you know? We were so good. We _are_ so good.” Jooheon sighs. “I hate being the one they're using to put you down. I fucking hate it.”

Gunhee raises his eyebrows. “You're the one they're using to put everyone down, to be fair.”

He would pick a time like this to be all difficult. “You know what I mean,” Jooheon says, finally meeting his eyes.

Gunhee softens. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I do.” He grins. “Look at you, expressing your feelings.”

“Shut up.”

Gunhee ignores him. “I'm sorry you're taking it like that,” he says, smoothing Jooheon's tie with one hand. “You know, it gets to me sometimes too. But right now I'm so stoked off that stage I don't care.” He draws Jooheon closer into his space, touching him at his collar, the buttons on his shirt. “ _Thousands_ of people are gonna see us. They're gonna know who we _are_. I mean – I know it only gets harder from here, I'm not deluded, but can't you feel it?”

“You're killing me,” Jooheon tells him, but he means, _Yeah, I can feel it_.

Gunhee smirks. Then the stage lights above them dim, and his face falls into shadows.

“Oh,” Jooheon says. His voice sounds louder than before. “ _Oh_ ,” he says again, as Gunhee's finger traces a zigzag down his tie.

Fortunately, he doesn't need to be able to see Gunhee's face to know what he's thinking. “How much time do we have?”

“Fifteen minutes, maybe,” Gunhee says, voice low. “Filming's on hold. Something about getting new clip mics.”

His hand is at Jooheon's waist. There's a beat of quiet between them, reminding Jooheon of the moments before they went onstage, when his heartbeat was echoing in his ears and he just wanted to _move_ , except now all he wants to do is press Gunhee up against the nearest wall, surface, whatever. He's half-hard already from the anticipation, from the promise Gunhee's thumb is pressing into his hip under his shirt.

“We're gonna get caught,” he says, reaching out and touching the edge of Gunhee's jacket.

“I'm not gonna last that long,” Gunhee admits, a breathless laugh.

Jooheon probably isn't either. It's been ages since they've had any time to themselves like this.

“Fifteen minutes?” he asks.

Gunhee's teeth are bright even in the darkness when he grins. He says, “Come on,” and Jooheon goes.

* 

“I've been waiting for this,” Gunhee says, rushed and under his breath as Jooheon steps toward him, crowds him into the corner. “Before, when we were about to go on, I couldn't stop thinking about it – I can't believe I got through the performance, I swear to God, I was so turned on.”

Jooheon's good with his words in some ways, but this isn't one of them. “Jesus,” he says, bracing his hands on the walls. “Gunhee.”

Gunhee's eyes are half-lidded, his hands reach for Jooheon without actually touching him. “ _This_ , especially,” he breathes, finally wrapping his fingers around Jooheon's tie. “Fuck, you have no idea.”

Jooheon's thanking every god and saint he knows of that they decided to go with the school uniform concept after all. “Show me,” he says.

Gunhee pulls, and Jooheon crushes their lips together.

It's probably a bad idea. There aren't really any places to get privacy on this sparsely constructed stage; they've managed to tuck themselves into a little nook behind one of the platforms and underneath a ladder, but it's not a good hiding spot, really, if anyone were to just peek around the corner they'd be fucked. It's hard to care, though, when Gunhee's mouth is so warm and surprisingly soft, the way he licks into Jooheon's mouth like he's _savoring_ him, slow and greedy. It's hard to care about anything but the feel of Gunhee's body under his hands, the muscles in his shoulders, the tension in his neck, the way he shamelessly drags Jooheon closer until Jooheon's thigh is pressed up against his zipper.

It's not fair – they only have fifteen minutes, and Jooheon wants to sink to his knees and get his mouth on Gunhee, he wants to take his time, but all they can do is grind against each other like a couple of teenagers. Not that it's going to matter – Jooheon's halfway to the edge already, embarrassingly. Gunhee's fingers scratch down his lower back, and _damn_ , it's been way too long since they've done this.

“Touch me,” he mumbles against Gunhee's mouth, trails his lips along the side of Gunhee's face. Gunhee's sensitive around his ears; he flicks out his tongue and teases the shell of one to make him gasp. “Fuck, just – ”

“I've got you,” Gunhee promises, shoving his hand down between them. Jooheon is practically leaking in his boxers, he has to choke back a moan when he feels Gunhee's palm rub him through his pants. He's shaking apart, Gunhee's sweaty and messy and so fucking _beautiful_ , Jooheon's amazed he doesn't just come on the spot.

There are a lot of things he wants to say – some dirty things, some _really_ filthy things that he doesn't even have the words for, some heavier things that would probably kill the mood. He's halfway to voicing one when Gunhee's palm drags over the head of his dick, first hard, then teasing, and that's it, he's a fucking goner. He comes with a muffled groan, burying his face in Gunhee's shoulder, thighs shaking uncontrollably as he rides it out against Gunhee's hand.

“Fuck,” he says, hoarse. It's everything he can do not to slide right to the floor.

Gunhee mutters something he doesn't quite catch, pulls him up for another bruising kiss. His hand is fisted around Jooheon's tie like a lifeline, and Jooheon knows he must be close too. He bites down on the collar of Gunhee's shirt as he fumbles to undo his pants, desperate to touch him.

“You're so good,” he mumbles, barely aware of what he's saying. “So good for me.”

“Jooheon.” Gunhee sounds almost like he's in pain. “I need – ”

Jooheon covers his mouth with his own, swallowing a moan that could've come from either one of them. “Yeah,” he says, tugging Gunhee's zipper down. “I'm gonna take care of you now.”

Gunhee's head knocks back against the wall when Jooheon finally gets him out of his boxers, hot and heavy and already half-slick. Jooheon presses closer so his hand is trapped between them and jerks him off roughly, breathing in and out of Gunhee's mouth, not quite kissing, but leaving him just as lightheaded.

“Please,” Gunhee whispers, eyes squeezing shut. “Oh, God, I'm gonna – _fuck_.”

He spills into Jooheon's fist, mouth moving soundlessly. Jooheon jerks him through it, kissing along his jawline, carefully drawing his hand away when Gunhee finishes and wiping it on his pants.

A minute or so passes when neither of them says anything, and then Gunhee laughs.

“This is a mess,” he says, dropping his forehead down onto Jooheon's shoulder. “Shit. I can't believe I just came all over myself.”

“We have time to clean up,” Jooheon says, running his clean hand through Gunhee's hair. “They haven't come looking for us yet, at least.”

“Mm,” Gunhee agrees, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his neck. “I guess we could do that.”

“We should,” Jooheon says.

“We should,” Gunhee echoes, straightening up. His hair sticks up oddly in the front, still damp. It's impossibly endearing, and catches Jooheon off guard like a punch to the chest.

They really ought to start moving. He leans in and kisses Gunhee again, simple and slow.

“You think we'll still do this when we're famous?” Gunhee asks, pulling back. Jooheon frowns, and Gunhee elbows him lightly. “I'm just teasing.”

“It'll be way better,” Jooheon says, after a moment. “We'll have hotel rooms with our own beds. Our own _showers_.”

Gunhee's eyes widen. “I didn't even think about that.” He bites his lip. “Man. I really hope I make it.”

“Don't say that,” Jooheon says. “Of course you're gonna make it. Half the judges think you're better than me already.”

It's a lie, but that doesn't really matter. This entire program is a lie.

Gunhee gives him a considering look, then shakes his head, smiling ruefully. “You are so full of shit,” he says. “Damn.”

“I'm practicing being an idol,” Jooheon retorts. “Ask me about my ideal type, quick.”

Gunhee blushes, and fuck, that's cute. It's already been more than fifteen minutes, by Jooheon's estimation, someone's gonna come find them any second. What he wouldn't give for a little more time.

“Am I your ideal type,” Gunhee deadpans, giving him a mischievous look.

“No,” Jooheon says. “You're my best friend.”

Gunhee wrinkles his nose. “Sappy.”

“Whatever.”

“We should go get our mics.”

“Yeah,” Jooheon sighs. “Okay. You go first. I'll use the bathroom outside to clean up.”

Gunhee laughs. “This was good,” he says. “Crazy, but good.”

“Definitely crazy,” Jooheon agrees. It's taking all his willpower not to lurch forward and get started all over again. He must be out of his mind.

“See you in a minute,” Gunhee says, slipping around him. “Don't be too long, or I'll have to tell them you're jerking off or something.”

Jooheon snorts. “Well.”

“Our stage was just too steamy,” Gunhee grins.

“Hey,” Jooheon says, just before he can turn the corner. “You're not mad, right?”

“Are you kidding?” Gunhee scoffs. “No way.”

Jooheon nods. It was a stupid question anyways. He's pretty sure Gunhee wouldn't tell him if he was mad, but he's also pretty sure he'd know.

“I'll get you back next time,” Gunhee says. Jooheon hears the unspoken words. _Are you ready_?

Yeah. He's ready.

The stage lights come back on, and Jooheon feels the heat coming off them like a charge under his skin. This time, he thinks, it's for real. They're really doing it.

The bass under his feet. The lyrics poised on his tongue. Gunhee's eyes on his, and the world's eyes on the both of them.

This is how it starts.

 

**Author's Note:**

> _i keep having the same dream_   
>  _and i think i just realized what it means_
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> thanks for reading <3


End file.
